Read Online The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity By Esther Perel
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Ebook About Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”Book The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity Review :
Esther Perel is an outstanding therapist and author. One of the most well-written self-helps books I've ever read. Her ideas resonated with me most of the book, until it took a turn for the worst, seeming to accept our culture's new attitudes about "consent" to make the Poly-Amory movement OK. Just because someone agrees to participate (often with a lot of arm-twisting or one person just trying to please a potentially straying partner) doesn't make it "right" or healthy. There has been a lot of research about the need for a healthy, trusting attachment throughout the lifespan, and that includes as adults. The poly-amory movement tries to distinguish itself from the "wife-swapping" of the 1960's by establishing all kinds of "rules" and "agreements" that feign to protect the primary relationship from harm. Well, I've seen a lot of break ups and broken hearts that have resulted from poly-amorous arrangements. I will be very interested to see some longitudinal studies done because I fully expect these arrangements to not be successful long term. I'm sorry, but as an infidelity specialist for 30 years, I haven't seen long-lasting positive results from this social experiment. I was surprised that such a savvy therapist as Ms. Perel would take an accepting stance on poly-amory. Especially after the wisdom she demonstrated throughout the rest of her book. I started following Esther Perel's work years ago when she did a riveting TEDtalk about infidelity & she authored a fascinating book called MATING IN CAPTIVITY. Both captivated me --not just because it's a titillating topic or because we were finally getting access to the underbelly of relationships that nobody openly discusses-- but because her work is full of human truths. About desire, love, the often inconvenient construct of marriage, egos, the secret longings people hide. Loneliness. Communication and the lack there of. Connection. Sexual alchemy. Marriage with and without kids. Trauma. Responsibility. She shines a light on all of it-- but never with sanctimony. Her work lets reality finally breathe.... uncloaked, so we can learn from it vs getting continually stuck in judgment. She discusses "what is" vs "what should be ....but never really was nor will be." These are often the same topics that come up when I coach clients, so her work rings achingly true. I've recommended her work to many clients whether they're married, dating or in between. Whether they have dealt first hand with infidelity or not. Why? Because Perel discusses the human condition in a new, enlightening way & her work reveals alternative ways to communicate & connect with those we love, about topics we've been dodging. It's authentic. So now her latest book, THE STATE OF AFFAIRS is out. Wow. Even juicier, deeper, more revealing and enlightening. Without meaning to, she may have written the first guidebook to having healthier relationships (with ourselves and others) in the REAL world, because she tells us the actual state of affairs, not that Face-tuned version. Yes it's about infidelity... but really it's about SO much more. Cannot recommend it highly enough. I listen to the Audible version in my car & also at night when I sit outside. It's like hanging out with your smartest girlfriend after she's traveled the world. So grateful for her honesty, hard work, passion and compassion-- all of which she shares with lucky us. IG aging.gracefully Read Online The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity Download The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity PDF The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity Mobi Free Reading The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity Download Free Pdf The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity PDF Online The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity Mobi Online The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity Reading Online The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity Read Online Esther Perel Download Esther Perel Esther Perel PDF Esther Perel Mobi Free Reading Esther Perel Download Free Pdf Esther Perel PDF Online Esther Perel Mobi Online Esther Perel Reading Online Esther PerelRead Online The Humans: A Novel By Matt Haig
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